Yep ... been off for awhile, battling the flu and then bronchitis last week, working on a couple of article deadlines, a new e-book and, yesterday, fighting the dreaded ArBeast for control of my intestines (reads: I got hold of some bogus beef at a local restaurant whose name sounds a little like that 'beastly' one). This morning, after worshipping all night at the porcelain throne (amusing the cats, who kept waiting for the furball to appear), I feel much bitter ...
still better off than those poor, starving waifs in Rep. Wasserman-Schultz's office down there in sunny Florida!
I ... I actually felt guilty. I could just see those little urchins, in their nonskid Armani suits, kneeling in front of me, their spit-shined shoes reflecting their sadness, begging me for a hundred-dollar donation -- er, a morsel of food.
When I arrived home, my remorse was so great that I took a cheap cardboard box and looked for things to send them as a CARE package. From soup-bones I'd planned to give my dogs later to my quarter-loaf of used bread - even my beloved "mystery" stuff that was wrapped in aluminum foil and had been sitting in the back of my fridge since 2005 - I felt so benevolent!
You see, these poor, overworked politipaupers can't afford to eat on their meager ... $65-to-120 G salaries. So I hope each one of you can pitch in ... I mean, this poverty could be catching and, before long, we'll have Congresspeople in that shape across-the-board!
Now ... whilst I'm getting my laughter under control, I thought ya might want to read this ridiculous-but-true article itself!
On a brighter note, I also had the honour of seeing two of America's funniest men turn the tables on the head NBC honchos -- and right smack-dab in the middle of the Peacock Palace itself!
Whilst they were all bickering about Jay Leno and his contract/replacement/both, and had ultimately offered the 'Tonight Show' post to Jimmy Fallon (starting in 2014) - and seemed to have the subconscious (? perhaps conscious? Stay tuned ...) desire to make an ass out of Jay, he and Jimmy craftily turned the tables on the execs by pulling together a split-screen takeoff on the famous song-of-the-same-name-as-the-show-in-question. They reaffirmed their friendship and did a hilarious bit that seemed to flip a famous bird to the Peacock Panderers.
Of course, Jay's been roasting their hinies for at least a week now - probably trying to get his jabs in whilst he can. He's definitely the "King of Late Night" because his delivery is perfectly natural (much like Johnny's was). Only one other comes close, and that's Craig Ferguson!! But you know that Jimmy's "getting there"!!
Just hope that Jay continues his comedic career, whether on-the-road or in a studio somewhere! And, once Jimmy gets the "i's" crossed and "t's" dotted (granted, he's got a little more work to do), he'll set "Roots" in the new Tonight Show Coming From 30 Rock!
Stay tuned ...